Navigating the Storm Within: The Reality of Living with Explosive Anger

By: Jennifer Bennethum, LCSW

Anger can be a healthy and universal human emotion that has the potential to act as both a constructive and destructive force. For some, it's a fleeting cloud that passes quickly or an ocean wave that will keep going. If this energy can be harnessed to make changes to something upsetting, it can be constructive. For others, it's a tempest, unpredictable and all-consuming feeling, which may be felt too intensely and expressed or communicated in an unhealthy manner. This blog will delve a little into what it's like for someone to grapple with explosive anger and how trauma can often affect this emotional struggle.

The Experience of Explosive Anger

Explosive anger isn't just about feeling annoyed or irritated. It can seem like a volcanic eruption of emotion that can leave devastation in its wake. Individuals who experience this intense form of anger may often find themselves engulfed in a wave of overwhelming emotion, leading to outbursts that can be frightening for both themselves and those around them.

Physical Manifestations

When explosive anger strikes, the body and brain respond as if under threat. The heart races, muscles tense, and adrenaline surges. This fight-or-flight response prepares the body for action, but in the context of anger, it can without intention, result in aggressive behavior, shouting, or even physical altercations. The intensity of these physiological responses can leave a person feeling drained, both mentally and physically.

Emotional and Mental Strain

Living with explosive anger is emotionally taxing and physically exhausting. There’s often a sense of guilt and shame that follows an explosion, leading to a vicious cycle of self-loathing and frustration. The unpredictability of these triggering episodes can create a state of constant hyper-vigilance, as individuals may worry about when the next outburst will occur and who it might hurt. These strong emotions can wreak havoc on personal relationships. Friends and family members may feel they need to walk on eggshells, trying to avoid triggers that could set off another explosion of emotions. Over time, this can lead to isolation and loneliness, as people withdraw to protect themselves from the emotional fallout. The person experiencing the anger may also feel misunderstood and alienated, further exacerbating their emotional distress.

The Role of Trauma

Trauma, particularly unresolved trauma, can be a significant underlying factor contributing to explosive anger. Traumatic experiences, especially those in childhood, can leave deep emotional scars that influence behavior and emotional regulation throughout adulthood. Trauma often disrupts the brain's ability to process emotions in a healthy way.

When a person experiences trauma, the brain will file the memory as something it never wants to experience again and then the brain's response mechanisms can become hyperactive, leading to heightened sensitivity to perceived threats in an attempt to keep them safe.

This heightened state of alert can cause disproportionate reactions to minor stressors, resulting in explosive anger. For instance, someone who has experienced abuse may have unresolved feelings of helplessness, fear, and rage. These emotions can simmer beneath the surface, and when triggered, they can erupt in a torrent of strong emotions and reactions. Anger acts as a protective mechanism, a way to regain a sense of control and power that was lost during the traumatic experience, which may then be communicated in an inappropriate way.

The Cycle of Repression and Expression

Many individuals with traumatic backgrounds learn to repress their emotions as a coping mechanism to the trauma they experienced. However, repressed emotions don't disappear; they linger and build up pressure over time. When the emotional dam breaks, the resulting outburst can be explosive. This cycle of repression and uncontrolled expression can be deeply damaging to both the individual and their relationships. This is similar to taking those emotions and putting them into a little pouch. Over time the pouch will grow and build before there is too much pressure for the pouch to handle and it will explode with all of those emotions coming out all at the same time.

Living with explosive anger is challenging, but it is not insurmountable. There are coping strategies and therapeutic approaches that can help individuals manage their anger and address the underlying trauma.  Being aware of your anger and being able to have a plan prior to getting angry can be helpful. 

Professional help is often essential for those dealing with explosive anger and trauma. Therapy models like CBT and DBT can be particularly effective in helping individuals understand the triggers for their anger and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Trauma-focused therapies, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or Internal Family Systems (IFS), can help individuals process and integrate their traumatic experiences, reducing their impact on current behavior.

Mindfulness and Support

Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep-breathing exercises can help individuals become more aware of their emotional states and develop greater control over their reactions. Relaxation techniques, such as progressive muscle relaxation and visualization, can also help reduce the physical tension associated with anger. Breath work and other relaxation techniques can be very helpful when practiced prior to the moment of becoming triggered, turning it more into a reflex instead of something that you have to actively think about.

Incorporating self-care practices into daily life can help manage stress and reduce the likelihood of explosive anger episodes. Regular exercise, good nutrition, and sufficient sleep can improve overall well-being and emotional stability. Engaging in hobbies and activities that bring joy and relaxation can also provide a positive outlet for connection, increasing a person’s tolerance for distress.

Where to go from here?

Living with explosive anger is a tumultuous experience that can feel isolating and overwhelming for everyone involved. However, understanding the connection between trauma and anger can be an incredible step toward healing. With the right strategies and support, individuals can learn to manage their anger, address their trauma, and build healthier, more fulfilling lives and relationships.