How to Get the Most Out of Therapy: A Journey Toward Growth and Healing
Written by: Jennifer Bennethum, LCSW
Therapy is a powerful tool for personal growth and healing, but like any tool, its effectiveness depends on how you use it. Whether you're new to therapy or looking to enhance your experience, here are some strategies to help you maximize its benefits.
Why do people have a hard time listening to themselves or the therapist during sessions?
People may struggle to truly listen to themselves or their therapist during sessions for several reasons:
Emotional Overwhelm: Therapy often involves addressing deeply personal and painful topics. People can feel overwhelmed by their emotions, making it hard to focus or process what’s being said.
Cognitive Biases and Defensiveness: It’s natural for humans to have mental defenses that protect their sense of self. These can include denial, minimization, or deflection, which may block them from fully hearing or accepting difficult truths.
Inner Critic or Noise: Many individuals carry an internal narrative that's self-critical or filled with doubt. This mental chatter can drown out their ability to tune into their thoughts or the therapist’s guidance.
Habit of Avoidance: Some people have spent years avoiding introspection because it feels safer to stay on the surface. Breaking this habit takes time and effort.
Difficulty with Trust: Trusting the therapist—or even themselves—can be challenging, especially if they’ve experienced betrayal or invalidation in the past. Without trust, it’s hard to fully engage.
Processing Style: Everyone processes information differently. Some may need more time to reflect after the session to truly absorb what was said, rather than engaging deeply in the moment.
Therapists are often trained to gently guide clients through these barriers, creating a safe environment where they feel empowered to listen and grow.
What strategies can help someone listen to themselves better?
Learning to listen to oneself takes practice, patience, and intentionality. Here are some effective strategies to deepen self-awareness:
Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness or meditation exercises to quiet external distractions and focus on inner thoughts and feelings. Apps or guided meditations can be helpful for beginners.
Journaling: Writing about your thoughts and emotions allows you to process and reflect on your inner experiences. Free-writing or answering prompts like “How do I feel today?” can help uncover buried feelings.
Self-Compassion: Practice kindness towards yourself and embrace your imperfections. This creates a safe mental space for introspection without judgment or self-criticism.
Pause and Reflect: Throughout the day, pause briefly and ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” or “What do I need at this moment?” These regular check-ins build self-awareness.
Seek Solitude: Carve out quiet, uninterrupted time for yourself. Disconnecting from distractions such as phones or social media can help you focus inward.
Active Listening to Yourself: If you're thinking about something, verbalize your thoughts aloud or record them. Hearing your own voice can clarify what's on your mind.
Therapy: Engage with a therapist trained in reflective techniques to explore your inner world.
Body Awareness: Pay attention to physical sensations in your body. Often, your body reacts to stress or emotions before your mind consciously processes them.
These strategies can be adjusted to suit individual preferences and lifestyle.
How to get the most out of therapy
Getting the most out of therapy requires intention, openness, and active participation. Here are some tips to maximize the experience:
Set Clear Goals: Before starting therapy (or early in the process), think about what you want to achieve. This could range from improving relationships to managing anxiety or understanding yourself better. Share these goals with your therapist.
Be Honest and Open: Therapy is a safe space for vulnerability. Share your thoughts and feelings honestly—even if they’re uncomfortable or messy. This honesty allows your therapist to support you effectively.
Come Prepared: Reflect on recent events, emotions, or challenges before your session. This helps you focus on what’s most important during your time together.
Engage Actively: Therapy isn't a passive process. Ask questions, seek clarity, and collaborate with your therapist to explore solutions or insights.
Practice Outside Sessions: Apply the skills, techniques, or insights gained in therapy to your daily life. Real progress often happens between sessions.
Give Feedback: If something isn’t working—whether it’s a specific approach or the overall dynamic with your therapist—voice it. Therapy is a partnership, and feedback helps fine-tune the process.
Be Patient: Growth takes time, and it’s normal to have ups and downs. Trust the process and recognize that small steps forward are still progress.
Stay Consistent: Regular sessions allow for steady progress. Even when it feels tough, showing up consistently strengthens your commitment to change.
Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate the strides you’re making, no matter how small. This reinforces your motivation and commitment.
Therapy is a deeply personal journey,
and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.
By actively engaging in the process and embracing the opportunity for introspection, you create the foundation for meaningful change. Remember, your therapist is your ally, guiding and supporting you on this path toward understanding and healing.
Let therapy be the catalyst for the life you envision.
